Personal Musings

Life In Pleasure & Sensual Surrender

If you follow me on Instagram, you may have noticed that I’ve been sharing about sex, orgasm, and sensuality alot more. In my own Self exploration as well as noticing patterns in the women I work with as an embodiment guide and Holistic Life Coach, it has become increasingly clear to me that our sensuality and pleasure is where our life force energy thrives.

The capacity to receive pleasure, give pleasure, and feel pleasure is not a weakness, like some might perceive it to be. When we are able to channel our pleasure properly — by releasing the “end goal” — we become a clear Vessel for life force energy. Our bodies become the literal breeding ground for that which we are here to birth into the world.

A few weeks ago, I spent two hours in a self pleasure practice and I learned so much about Life through my own body.

I know this might be a lot to read, and quite the subject to cover on my blog. But, let me break it down for you: Pleasure is not taboo. You are meant to touch & feel your own body. It is entirely natural to want to feel good in oneself.

We could all use a little lesson in understanding how to meet our own needs. By building this deep relationship with oneSelf – meeting the outer world becomes an entirely new experience.

Pleasure is not taboo. You are meant to touch & feel your own body. It is entirely natural to want to feel good in oneself.

Before I dive in, I will share with you that I chose intentional celibacy beginning in December of 2019 – I had chosen to offer myself a full 9 months to be with and in my own body.

2019 was the year that my Womb invited me into her void. She asked me to dive into the darkness and pain so that we could clear the path to orgasmic pleasure, once again.

Up to that point, I had a very wounded perception of sex and pleasure. I believed that my body was simply a sexual object, that men were my only source of penetration, safety and pleasure, and that, no matter what, they would ultimately let me down. This jaded my ability to see my sexual desires clearly and I began to use sex as a tool to distract my bodies truest needs.

I would not consider myself promiscuous – I haven’t had very many partners. However, I was always apt to find a consistent one. Sex filled a void inside of me that I had never taken the time to fully be with. Sex gave me the ecstasy of orgasm, helped me feel connected, and made life feel bright and pleasurable – I was hooked on the feeling. (can you blame me?) Yet it always involved the assistance of another human being.

When I began to connect with my sexuality through the wisdom of my Womb, it became apparent that I had a lot of healing to do. I realized that, if I were to ever have life-giving, passionate, meaningful sex – I would have to find it with myself, first.

I dove deep into self devotion through cycle syncing, womb and breast massage, and self pleasure practices in front of a mirror to really get to know myself.

Among many of the things this bout of intentional celibacy taught me, my greatest finding was this: I do not crave short term pleasure.

I am no longer interested in sleeping with someone just to have sex. I’m not interested in cheap orgasms and heightened senses. I’m not interested in a relationship that is not rooted in devotion and truth.

Since exploring the inner landscape of my body and its capacity to hold the stunning sensations of pleasure with no one but my Self and Source – I have come to a deep appreciation of what my body has to offer and what is available to my partner. And practicing discernment in sharing this is critical.

I will be the first to say that a quick orgasm was really all I was after in my former sex life. A desire to make my partner feel good. To appease him – because that is what I learned how to do. I was conditioned to believe that my body was created to be desired and enjoyed by a man, not myself.

While I have never struggled to have an orgasm in intercourse, I hadn’t realized until the last year that I only truly received an orgasm a small fraction of times.

Yes, I might have climaxed (and this is not to say the sex was “bad” — I’ve only had what I would consider to be “bad” sex less than a handful of times) but my capacity to receive the pleasure fully in my body- head to toe, physical and subtle bodies, was not yet developed.

It felt good momentarily – but what I have come (pun intended) to understand about pleasure is that it is not an end goal or destination. The journey should not be rushed…because the real pleasure is happening in the process.

Presence is pleasure.

My journey of embodiment has allowed me to restore the deep, cellular wisdom in knowing what feels good for me.

The process has been interesting, to say the least. Because arousal has often happened in moments when I had absolutely no intention to bring it to surface. I just happened to be living so fully in the present, so fully in bliss, that it felt that good to simply be alive.

When I got on my mat and turned on my playlist – I really was just intending to move energy through dance and stretching. About 20 minutes into my practice, as I was in childs pose, I could feel it rising.

I can’t even put words to what I felt in my body — so I’ll let you use your imagination to paint a picture of what I experienced here.

Receiving orgasm without penetration or touch is a deep deep experience of connection to Source energy. It is a perfect metaphor for how we can best experience life: to welcome it in. To be open.

The energetics behind orgasm without penetration is literally the way everything in life works. Needing nothing else, other than your own self, to experience ecstatic pleasure.

My purpose in sharing this with you today, in a time we are in right now is this: We humans are so used to feeling pain. We know, intimately, what that sensation feels like. We’re quick to find a solution, to get rid of it — fast. But if we are solely focused on the sensations that pain our bodies, we are developing stronger and stronger nerve endings for those exact responses.

I believe it to be absolutely imperative that we connect to the pleasure within our own bodies if we are to ever find pleasure in life.

I believe it to be absolutely imperative that we connect to the pleasure within our own bodies if we are to ever find pleasure in life.

I mean, think about it- it’s in movies everywhere. Someone “gets laid” and they’re giddy, excited about life, lit the f*ck up.

Well – what if – instead of needing someone else to help you get there, you could create it all on your own? Anytime, any day. How different would your life feel if you could truly cultivate pleasure for yourself?

This is what I have come to discover on my own.

For me, orgasmic pleasure comes in the form of intentional, intimate time and space for me to be fully present with my body. This doesn’t always mean sensual touch. It also involves watching sunsets alone on the beach, drinking my favorite tea in the quiet hours of the morning while gazing out of my front windows into my lush garden. It is sparked by sensual dance and pouring candles. Pleasure is all around.

In changing my narrative around sex, sensuality, and pleasure, I’ve begun to open myself up to a life that is beyond my wildest dreams. I no longer limit myself to only receiving pleasure through specific portals (such as money and men). I lean into the mystery and let life show me just how pleasurable She can be.

So, my dear – open yourself up to yourself. Begin to explore how your body feels. Put down the vibrator, keep your mind from fantasizing. Release what you have been taught or what you have seen in mainstream pornography. Give yourself permission to write a new story of what an orgasm feels like for you. By really being with yourself, you may just have the best sex of your life.

Pleasure is everywhere. Life is orgasmic.

With love,


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Cacao OBSESSED, Enneagram 3, Lifelong Learner, moon lover. 

Hi, I'm Chelsea. Your Feminine Embodiment Mentor

Being a woman certainly isn't one-dimensional. The beauty of the Feminine is her ability to dance in her expression, to become who she needs to be in any given moment. On this blog, you'll find stories and expressions from myself and women everywhere who are on the journey of re-discovering their innate magic through the wise portal of their feminine bodies. 

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chelsea adair

Welcome, dear one. This site serves as a Vessel for the sacred messages that pour through me in words, images, courses, and more.